"Whole Foods with Fran Gillespie" is Episode 259 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Whole Foods with Fran Gillespie" was released on July 9, 2020.
"Tomorrow, Grocery Store Month continues...." - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
Grocery Store Month continues as Fran Gillespie (Big Mouth, SNL) returns, and helps the 'boys review Austin-founded Whole Foods. Plus, another edition of The Leftovers.
Nick's intro[]
"After much consideration, I took the less safe path to follow my passion and I'm proud of that choice."
1995 Amazon.com
This was Jeff Bezos on the 1995 founding of Amazon.com, a bookseller in the then-uncharted territory of online retail. In his self-mythologizing, Bezos' path from a one-man start-up to the wealthiest human in world history was due to his own ingenuity and scrappy hard work. In the early years, operating out of his garage, Bezos would drive orders to the post office himself. But the cueball billionaire's "less safe path" omits a key detail: a $240,000 loan from his parents that made his passion possible.
As online retail became commonplace, Bezos' garage-founded virtual shop grew beyond books to become an all-encompassing internet department store and expanded its business to include content streaming and its biggest revenue generators, web services and cloud computing.
In June of 2017, Bezos' now-megacorp, seeking a foothold for its burgeoning grocery-delivery service, Amazon Fresh, acquired an Austin-based, high-end, organic supermarket chain founded in 1978 as SaferWay Natural Foods. And so the world's largest online retailer became a major player in the supermarket sector.
Today, on the broken backs of his workers in warehouses and vans, and now grocery stores, who skip bathroom breaks or brave COVID to meet unreasonable quotas, Bezos is a billionaire many times over with enough wealth to solve multiple world crises singlehandedly and still afford his vanity space program.
But like countless other so-called "self-made men," his empire is built atop a pile of cash gifted by his affluent parents.
This week on Doughboys, our month-long review of supermarket eats, Friendly Green Grocer Mitch's Grocery Store Month, continues with Whole Foods.
Friendly Green Grocer Mitch's Grocery Store Month[]
For this month-long look at grocery stores, The Doughboys take these aspects into consideration:
- How's it looking? (overall impression/name/mascot/etc.)
- Parking
- Produce
- Original Snacks
- Frozen Snacks
- Room Temperature Snacks
- Check-out
- Hoity-Toityness
- Bagging and carts
- Price
The scoring is not the usual five forks, but out of ten carts. A basket is half a cart.
An average of 8/10 will get into the Green Grocer Mitch's Freezer Club (the equivalent of the Golden Plate Club).
Cart rating[]
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
3 carts, 1 basket |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
4 carts, 1 basket |
| Fran Gillespie |
|
3 carts |
To convert this to Forks for comparison purposes, Whole Foods averages 3.67 out of 10 carts, so 1.83 out of 5 forks.
The Leftovers[]
7-Eleven Big Bite Hot Dog with Chili and Cheese
In The Leftovers, The Doughboys try a food that has been left in the fridge overnight.
For this episode, they try 7-Eleven's Big Bite Hot Dog, since Fran is a big fan of 7-Eleven.
They then decide if it is Justin Therouxed away, or if it ascends to heaven.
Everyone was revolted. "That was the worst thing I've ever eaten on the show," Mitch adds.
Mitch and Fran also try 7-Eleven's Go-Go Taquitos, which were also gross.
| guest / host | Big Bite Hot Dog | Go-Go Taquito |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Theroux it away | - |
| Mike Mitchell | Theroux it away | lay it under the Devil's flaccid dick |
| Fran Gillespie | Theroux it away | lay it under the Devil's flaccid dick |
Roast Spoonman[]
Bruce Vilanch
| “ | Bruce Vilunch | ” |
–Thomas | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | I'd like to get in touch with Vanna White. She's a beautiful lady. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell shooting his shot | ||
| “ | Beans is fruit. | ” |
–new Doughboys canon | ||
| “ | That was a detour that was worth it. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell after reading from the Home Improvement wiki | ||
| “ | Nick: It's so hard, I'm like 'am I supposed to suck this shit?' Fran: I know. When I like put the whole thing in my mouth I was like 'ok, but when's it going to squirt?' |
” |
–Nick and Fran re: the Big Bite Hot Dog | ||
The Feedbag[]
| “ | Are there any specific foods you guys can/will eat until you feel physically ill? | ” |
–Dana | ||
Related Episodes[]
| Friendly Green Grocer month | Whole Foods episodes | 7-Eleven episodes | Fran Gillespie episodes |
|---|---|---|---|
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Photos (via @doughboyspod)[]
