"MMX: Semi-Soft Finals: Wendy's vs Taco Bell with Carl Tart and Lamar Woods" is Episode 487 of Doughboys, hosted by Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell. "MMX: Semi-Soft Finals: Wendy's vs Taco Bell with Carl Tart and Lamar Woods" was released on March 20, 2025.
"Tomorrow… with Carl Tart & Lamar Woods" - @doughboys.bsky.social
Synopsis[]
Carl Tart (@dammitcarl) and Lamar Woods (@prophmatic) of XOXO, Gossip Kings join the 'boys to talk Tuck Everlasting, dunking, and New York eats before tackling the Semi-Soft Finals Region of Munch Madness X: The Tournament of Tournament of Chompions of Chompions.
Nick's intro[]
In 1975, the semifinal matchup of the American men’s collegiate basketball tournament was first referred to in print as the "Final Four". Shortly thereafter, the NCAA - the corrupt and useless cabal that banned paying their own athletes until forced to by court order decades later - copyrighted this term, as well as the phrases "March Madness," "Elite Eight," "The Big Dance," and "The Lemon Party."
But thankfully, parody is still considered fair use in the United States, at least for the next few months or so, so our legally allowable Munch Madness continues with its quartet of prospective chompions into our own Final Fork.
Today’s combatants: Chicken Fight winner Wendy’s, which scored a surprise upset over Sub-Optimal victor and Doughboys lunch-order stalwart Jersey Mike’s in the Person Region. But with this burgery restricted to its bird-based offerings, can it best the most reviewed chain in this podcast’s history?
That chain, of course, is Mouth of the Border winner Taco Bell, which easily triumphed over Slice is Right chompion Domino’s in the Spoonman Region, and now competes with its tacos and burritos only.
Who will advance to the Chompionship and stay alive in its quest to be named Main Chain?
This week on Doughboys… the first Final Fork matchup of Munch Madness Ten: MMX: The Tournament of Tournament of Chompions of Chompions: TOTCOC: Taco Bell vs. Wendy’s.
Ring the bell!
*dong*
Comclave[]
As per the news of the earlier episode, Commissioner Susser has died and a Comclave is taking place in the Fatican City to decide who the next Commissioner will be. Amelia and Gemi join live from outside the scene to discuss the happenings there. A delivery guy with Firehouse Subs came by, shortly followed by a plumber to unclog the toilets. Shartinel Dutton is being considered for Commissioner, but because he's a cool 'fuck machine', he may be disqualified. Shartinel Johnson 🔪 scares the other candidates, but probably won't win because she's Canadian. The newest leading candidate is a secret, but he eats food off the other Shartinels' plates.
And surprise! Steam comes out of the Fatican, indicating a Commissioner has been chosen! But alas, the steam was green... which means they elected a gator. Gators are legally not allowed to be Commissioner, so a final decision is still to come.
MMX Rules 📜[]
The rules are:
- There are no rules.
- There actually are some rules.
- Everyone is here! Every winner of every Tournament of Chompions will be represented.
- You gotta dance with the one that brought you: if a restaurant has multiple categories of food on its menu, only the category it qualified for is eligible.
- One On Fun: every match-up is one on one, with each guest getting to pick one item from the competing chains. You cannot consider bites from other people's meals.
- Sauce is at a Loss: you can use sauce, but you cannot evaluate sauce in your review. (Roger Rabbit: No talk of the dip.)
- The Dais is Denied: Amelia, Emma, and Casey cannot be considered during the Tournament.
- Tie Goes to the Runner: if there is a tie, the guests can do a footrace around the Headgum studio to decide the winner. (Or they can let the Dais decide, which is the one time rule 7 can be broken.)
- Hate has no Plate Here: Chick-fil-A is officially banned from the Tournament. (It didn't qualify.) Starbucks too.
- I'll Have What He's Having: The Commissioner reserves the right to have one of the Doughboys' exact meal.
MMX: Semi-Soft Finals 1[]
As the winner of Chicken Fight, Wendy's is only allowed chicken in MMX.
Similarly, Taco Bell won Mouth of the Border, so is limited to just its tacos and burritos.
| guest / host | Wendy's order | Taco Bell order |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
|
| Mike Mitchell | Ghost Pepper Ranch Chicken Sandwich |
|
| Carl Tart |
|
|
| Lamar Woods | Classic Chicken Sandwich |
|
From Taco Bell, the Doughboys also ordered the Steak & Queso Crunchwrap Sliders, but they are not eligible for consideration. Mitch also got a Dole Lemonade Strawberry Squeeze.
MMX: Semi-Soft Finals 1 Results[]
There is no scoring for this year's Tournament; instead, they countdown and declare their winner.
Mitch says this is the hardest decision he's ever had to make in his life.
| guest / host | winner |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Wendy's |
| Mike Mitchell | Taco Bell |
| Carl Tart | Wendy's |
| Lamar Woods | Wendy's |
Wendy's is thus given to an organism who looks like Billy Crystal after it crawls out of the water to start evolution, but is so good that it returns to the sea creating an underwater paradise, and advances to the MMX Finals!
Amelia and Casey would also vote for Wendy's, while Emma prefers Taco Bell. (Their votes do not count.)
Roast Spoonman[]
The Lord of the Rings
| “ | The Lord of the Ringcam | ” |
–David C. | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | This is gonna be controversial. I could get killed for saying this. Bagels taste the same. | ” |
–Carl Tart | ||
| “ | I know it's bad for you, but I think Red 40 [Dye] is my favorite food. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | Puking in front of girls is the worst. | ” |
–Lamar Woods | ||
The Feedbag[]
| “ | Do the 'boys have any food trauma that comes up when they see that food? | ” |
–Luke | ||
| guest / host | food associated with emotional trauma |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | spills |
| Mike Mitchell | Edible Arrangements after his Father's death |
| Lamar Woods |
|
| Emma Erdbrink | got scolded for not eating her grandmother's chicken casserole |
Drops and Plugs[]
| reference | notes |
|---|---|
| Conclave | Amelia's plug |
| Ring Cam Alerts | in Mitch's drop |
|
Lamar & Carl's podcasts |
Related Episodes[]
Photos[]
