"Wendy's 2 with Jacob Wysocki" is Episode 294 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Wendy's 2 with Jacob Wysocki" was released on April 1, 2021.
"Tomorrow... with Jacob Wysocki"- @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
Jacob Wysocki (I Don't Want To Talk About Fight Club Anymore) joins the 'boys to discuss yoga, video games, and Wendy's. Plus, a Diet Coke edition of Jingle All The Whey.
Nick's intro[]
In November of 1969, just as the Swinging '60s were set to transition to the Swingers '70s, a burger shop opened in Columbus, Ohio, founded by a buttoned-up figure who looked wholly out of step with the sexual revolution, Dave Thomas. As horny hippies and randy suburbanites continued their collective two decade-long fuck rampage, Thomas focused on stuffing consumers' holes with something more wholesome: hamburger sandwiches.
And to showcase his concept's claim of "fresh, never frozen" meat, Thomas hit on an unfamiliar form factor for his ground patties, a shape that had never before been observed in nature, an equilateral rectangle which came to be known as a "square."
square
Theorized by Euclid in his treatise, The Elements, and condemned as the "devil's diamond" of the Old Testament, the humble hamburger merchant Thomas inadvertently invented the 2-D shape and, in so doing, revolutionized geometry.
By the mid-'70s, mathematics textbooks included the concept of the square root of numbers, chessboards were re-designed to be grids of squares instead of trapezoids, the now-familiar checkered tablecloth came into fashion, and youths around the country learned how to square dance.
With the 1980s came the peak of the square's relevance, as the Rubik's Cube craze consumed a nation and the Huey Lewis song "Hip To Be Square" hit the top of the charts.
And the square's relevance continues to resonate with the release of the 2021 masterpiece, Zack Snyder's Justice League; though pedants will insist the film's 4:3 frame is not technically a square.
Dave Thomas died a virgin, never having shot a single load. But by never cumming in, on, or even near anyone, Thomas was able to do something even more important: create a fast-food burger that stood the test of time and in so doing, invent a new shape.
This week on Doughboys, we return once again to Wendy's.
(And April Fool's.)
Fork rating[]
Mr. Slice and his Classic Chicken Sandwich (mishpacha)
Wendy's surprisingly has only been reviewed one official time, and that was way back in 2016, when The Doughboys all gave it 5 forks and it made the Platinum Plate Club. They did look at Wendy's Breakfast menu in 2020, though that aspect of Wendy's did not make the Platinum Plate Club (or even the Golden Plate Club).
Of course, Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich progressed all the way through the 2017 Tournament of Chompions: Chicken Fight, eventually being named the Chompion. Then, in the just-completed 2021 Tournament of Chompions: Pie Noon, Wendy's Frosty lost early in the play-in Shake-off battle.
The Doughboys have also done Wendy's-focused Doubles on the Fresh Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich, Bacon Queso line, and Bacon Maple Chicken Sandwich.
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
4.75 forks |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
4.75 forks |
| Jacob Wysocki |
|
4.75 forks |
Jacob made numerous trips to Wendy's for the show.
Thus, with these scores, Wendy's has been downgraded from the Platinum Plate Club to the Golden Plate Club.
Jingle All The Whey 🎶[]
In this segment, Nick plays a fast-food jingle; Mitch and the guest guess which year it came out.
The closest guess, without going over, wins that question. If you guess it exactly, you get two points.
The theme for this episode is Diet Coke commercials.
| jingle | Mike Mitchell | Jacob Wysocki | actual |
|---|---|---|---|
| jingle #1 | 1987 | 1986 | 1983 |
| jingle #2 | 1987 | 1993 | 1984 |
| jingle #3 | 1990 | 1991 | 1991 |
| jingle #4 | 1995 | 1990 | 1991 |
| - | 0 pts | 3 pts |
Jacob wins!
Roast Spoonman[]
Boner Appetit
| “ | Boner Petit | ” |
–John in Seattle | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | She's had some weird side effects. Wiges, I saw her howling at the moon last night. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell re: his mother getting the COVID vaccine | ||
| “ | Paddington is no virgin. Paddington has fucked. Why do you think he wears that fucking raincoat? | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | I loved my Dad. He was my best friend. I wouldn't ever consider being the son of anyone else, but I would maybe consider being the son of the Baconator. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell re: Wendy's | ||
| “ | Mitch: I'm horny as hell right now. Nick: Better put on a raincoat. |
” |
–Nick Wiger with the callback | ||
| “ | More than Beef Buddies, we're mishpacha. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell's new word | ||
#hashtags[]
- #IAmAFreak
- #HomeRun....HomeFun
The Feedbag[]
| “ | What local or area promotions happen when the Lakers or the Clippers win a basketball game? | ” |
–Joseph from Madison, WI | ||
Related Episodes[]
| Wendy's episodes | Jacob Wysocki episodes |
|---|---|
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Photos[]
