"Waffle House with Carl Tart (LIVE)" is Episode 203 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Waffle House with Carl Tart (LIVE)" was released on May 16, 2019.
"Tomorrow..." - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
For our first time in Alabama, we're joined by Carl Tart (Comedy Bang! Bang!, Brooklyn Nine-Nine) to visit a southern staple known for its resiliency in staying open 365 days a year: Waffle House. Plus, an unexpected live edition of Snack or Wack.
Recorded live at Stand Up Huntsville on April 10, 2019 in Huntsville, AL.
Nick's intro[]
On April 7, 1979, President Jimmy Carter signed a bland, technocratic, and vaguely ominous-sounding executive order called Reorganization Plan #3. This Act created the Federal Emergency Management Agency, or FEMA, the government's official disaster response arm. And while FEMA's effectiveness seems to waver based on the administration under which it serves, it has become a critical branch of the federal government, especially as climate change leads to evermore frequent and destructive floods, wildfires, tornados, and hurricanes.
FEMA's Waffle House Index
In 2011, FEMA administrator Craig Fugate, in search of an easy shorthand for the public to understand the severity of storms, created an index named after a 24/7 Southern breakfast eatery. Because of the chain's presence scattered across the most storm-prone areas of the United States, as well as its refusal to close except under near-apocalyptic circumstances, the index is a vivid indicator of how hard a region surrounding a given restaurant is hit: Level Green means that location has full menu available; Yellow, only a limited menu, often because a back-up generator has been drafted into action; and Red means closed, in which case, to quote FEMA administrator Fugate, "that's really bad."
The chain in question was founded in 1955 in Avondale Estates, Georgia, but has its origins in part in Yankee New England, where co-founder Joe Rogers got his start at Connecticut's Toddle House. Today, this different house named after its most popular menu item has over 2000 locations in half the U.S. states and over 200 in Alabama alone.
And its index persists as an important media tool, though the chain prides itself on keeping red alerts to an absolute minimum. As CEO Walt Ehmer said in a 2012 interview, "after many of the storms, it's very often that we'll hear from folks, 'this is the first hot meal I've had in a week'."
This week on Doughboys: Waffle House.
Fork rating[]
The Doughboys at Waffle House
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
5 forks |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
5 forks |
| Carl Tart |
|
5 forks |
| Allan McLeod |
|
With these scores, Waffle House makes the Golden Plate Club!
However, a couple of episodes after this one, in episode 205, Mitch went to dinner with Allan McLeod (to P.F. Chang's) and came back with the news that Allan's Waffle House review is nixed. Nick announces that Waffle House is now officially in the Platinum Plate Club.
A few years later, Mitch gives Allan the opportunity to re-do his stricken fork score. He gives it three forks. Since this wasn't based on any trip or anything, it is unclear if this actually affects Waffle House's status in the Platinum Plate Club.
Also, many years later, in episode 451, Allan claims he thought his initial 4 forks for Waffle House was a perfect score, but when everyone got mad, he decided to stay with his 'heel turn'. He officially gives it 5 forks, so Waffle House is indeed officially in the Platinum Plate Club.
Snack or Wack[]
Golden Flake Sweet Heat Barbecue potato chips
In Snack or Wack, The Doughboys have a snack and decide if it is 'good' or 'bad.'.
For this episode, they try Golden Flake Sweet Heat Barbecue Potato Chips.
| guest / host | rating |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Snack |
| Mike Mitchell | Snack |
| Carl Tart | Snack |
| Allan McLeod | Snack |
Drank or Stank[]
Grapico
In Drank or Stank, The Doughboys have a drink and decide if it is 'drank' or 'stank.'
For this episode, they try Grapico, a grape soda found mainly in the South.
| guest / host | rating |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Drank |
| Mike Mitchell | Drank |
| Carl Tart | Drank |
| Allan McLeod | Drank |
Molasses Boy's Statement[]
Allan McLeod, a.k.a. Molasses Boy, is from Alabama and tried to organize a #MolassesBoycott of this show in Alabama, because he was not initially The Doughboys' special guest.
The Doughboys in turn instituted a #MolassesBan, banning him from live eps, studio eps, and everything. If this doesn't make sense, visit twitter.com.
Despite all this, McLeod made an appearance at the show and read a prepared statement:
| “ | I was born not far from the Rocket City in Florence, Alabama. I graduated from Space Camp a Mission Specialist, First Class. I was all of nine years old, yet really just a boy.
Last week, I expressed my dismay for being passed over as the second guest in addition to the incomparable Carl Tart for the Doughboys live show here in Huntsville. Did I receive a listening ear? NO. I received nothing but cruel threats and hate speech in response to my full-throated statements - and by "full-throated" I do not mean what Wiger hopes to feel when a child enters the room. The victims of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919 did not die in vain! Now that the official #MolassesBan is lifted, the #MolassesBoycott is as well. If you canceled your membership to the Burger Brigade, please recommit your membership status. If you self-deported from Spoon Nation, dust off the citizenship papers. If you left the #NangGang, beat yourself back in. If you cancelled your Patreon or otherwise unsubscribed from the Doughboys podcast, that's probably for the best. And thank you for standing, and sticking with, Molasses Boy. |
” |
Roast Spoonman[]
Scattered, Smothered, and Covered Hash Browns from Waffle House
| “ | The Living Embodiment of Scattered, Smothered, and Covered | ” |
–@betaalex81 | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | A banana a day keeps the rumblies away. | ” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
| “ | I'm not as slow as molasses, but not as fast as water: so I'm Syrup Papi. | ” |
–Carl Tart on his new nickname | ||
| “ | Nick: Mitch, what did you think of this Waffle House visit in general, in the abstract? Mitch: In the abstract? Hmm. The idea of an actual waffle house is exciting to me with faucets you turn on and syrup comes out, and the soap is melted butter, say. So in the abstract, that's what I think of Waffle House. |
” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | I'm a bit of a sweet seeker. | ” |
–Allan McLeod | ||
The Feedbag[]
| “ | What is your fast-food dessert triforce? | ” |
–Drake | ||
| “ | In episode 116, I believe, Carl Tart talked about the beautiful Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles' breakfast and dinner. What is your favorite breakfast and dinner combination? | ” |
–- | ||
Related Episodes[]
| Waffle House episodes | Carl Tart episodes | Allan McLeod episodes |
|---|---|---|
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Photos (from Allan McLeod's instagram)[]
