"Tombstone (the pizza) with Blank Check" is Episode 250 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Tombstone (the pizza) with Blank Check" was released on May 7, 2020.
"Tomorrow, we go to Tombstone Pizza..." - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
Tombstone Week continues (and Topical Freeze begins) as Blank Check Podcast hosts Griffin Newman and David Sims return to review frozen pizza brand Tombstone and to play another edition of Family Food.
Nick's intro[]
May 10, 1869 marked the first completed transcontinental railroad route in the United States. The massive expansion of the nation's rail system in the mid-19th century would contribute to a rush of westward migration, later romanticized in motion pictures as "The Wild West."
Transcontinental Railroad
But it wasn't just the high deserts of Cali-for-ni-ay that were affected; much of the country would be reshaped by the commerce and travel that rail transit would facilitate and by the establishment of outposts along the many routes criss-crossing the continent.
And one of those outposts was the sleepy town of Medford, Wisconsin (named for a Massachusetts city of the same name), built straddling the Wisconsin Central Railroad and chosen as the site of a circuit courthouse.
The next century, in the 1960s, as the country's rail system, like much of its infrastructure, would be neglected or actively dismantled, brothers Ronald and Pep Simek moved to Medford from Chicago and would take over operating a tavern overlooking a cemetery and named for a grave marker. The brothers lived it up as barkeeps at the spooky speakeasy until, as legend tells it, Pep suffered a severely broken leg that forced him to ease up on the partying and focus on the tavern's secondary source of revenue, pizza.
As Pep's 'za recipe improved and sales rose, the Simeks started packing their pies in dry ice and delivering them by car to paying customers to be reheated in home ovens. The take-and-bake concept struck gold like a lucky prospector and the Brothers Simek would leave the bar behind entirely and develop a multi-million dollar frozen-pizza empire which would be sold to Kraft and then to Nestlé.
But the processed-foods megacorps retained the brand's boneyard-evoking name and, fitting for a company established in a town founded as a 19th-century railway stop, would reference the Wild West in its marketing - most famously in a grim 1990 television commercial where a captured marshall about to be hanged was asked by his executioner, "What do you want on your Tombstone?"
This week on Doughboys, part 2 of Tombstone Week, as we review Tombstone Pizza.
[It is also the start of Topical Freeze, a month where The Doughboys focus on frozen-food items instead of chain restaurants. - ed.]
Fork rating[]
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
4 forks |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
|
| David Sims |
|
4.5 forks |
| Griffin Newman |
|
4.75 forks |
Tombstone Pizza is thus the premiere member of the Frozen Plate Club. However, two episodes later, Mitch learned that Griffin received an offer for free Tombstone Pizzas after this episode, so he lowered his score to 3.75 forks out of jealousy. This canonically removed it from the Frozen Plate Club.
In episode 449, Griffin returns and follows up on his attempt to find the Tombstone Garlic Bread Pizza.
Tombstone rating[]
The Doughboys end Tombstone Week by deciding if they prefer the movie or the pizza.
| guest / host | choice |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | movie |
| Mike Mitchell | pizza |
| David Sims | movie |
| Griffin Newman | pizza |
Family Food[]
Family Feud
In Family Food, Nick finds a food-related survey, and Mitch and the guest guess the results.
For this episode with the Blank Check podcast hosts, Nick has a list of the best food movies. The others guess what is on the list; whoever gets the most without getting three strikes wins.
Due to a screw-up, Nick has them guess the #8-14 most popular food movies on the list, not the actual top food movies.
| Mitch's guesses | Griffin's guesses | David's guesses |
|---|---|---|
| No Reservations (#8) | ||
| Jiro Dreams of Sushi (#12) | ||
| - | Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (#9) | Good Burger (#10) |
| - | Eat Drink Man Woman (#14) | |
| - | - | WINNER! |
Roast Spoonman[]
| “ | the star of Honey, I Shrunk My Dick | ” |
–an anonymous coward | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | I remember we were on the water at this yacht club.... oh God, people are going to call me Silver Spoonman. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | I read my Mom's journal too and she said when I was a baby, I was so hungry I emptied out her teat. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | You know what? That's a fun dystopian movie: that in high school, you can only use a pen as big as your dick. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
#hashtags[]
- #CrudeFoodDude or #CrudeFoodDudette
The Feedbag[]
| “ | A pizza place with several locations in LA called Lucifer's offers a spicy pie called The Ringburner. I believe the 'ring' in question is the eater's butthole. This makes me not want to eat this pizza. What are some other gross names for menu items? | ” |
–Jake Kaminski | ||
Related Episodes[]
| Tombstone Week | Topical Freeze episodes | Griffin Newman episodes | David Sims episodes |
|---|---|---|---|
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Photos[]
