"Munch Madness: Sweetfin vs. Chipotle vs. sweetgreen with Lauren Lapkus and Nicole Byer" is Episode 391 of Doughboys, hosted by Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell. "Munch Madness: Sweetfin vs. Chipotle vs. sweetgreen with Lauren Lapkus and Nicole Byer" was released on March 30, 2023.
"We're just one day away from our Munch Madness Live Digital Finale with Nicole Byer & Lauren Lapkus!" - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
It's the finale of Munch Madness 2023: The Tournament of Chompions: BOWL! Nicole Byer and Lauren Lapkus of Newcomers join forces with the 'boys to determine who will be crowned winner and take home the Dave Thomas Cup. Plus, special appearances from The Commissioner, Mrs. Mitchell, and The Noid.
Nick's intro[]
Previously on Fat Chance Kitchen Presents: Bread Dead Redemption…
| “ | Nick: Let's count down in unison from 3 to 1... Mitch: We'll say our winner. |
” |
Five short weeks ago, eight chains began a bowl battle for the ages. Combatants from every school of bowldom of stew consistency or greater brought their B-games — the “B” stands for “bowl” — in a quest to be the supreme sad stack we sad sacks suck down for sustenance. One by one the lesser of the mighty bowl beasts were bested, and only the strongest have soldiered on to this climactic conflict, collectively forming a triforce of circle-shaped containers when viewed from a bird's-eye perspective.
So who will prove the baddest bowl on the block?
Will it be Chipotle, the fast-casual Mexican-American chain who’s made it socially acceptable to eat seven-layer dip with a spoon?
Will it be Sweetfin, the poké pusher who’s emerged in the past decade to offer a chain version of the Hawaiian raw fish dish to hungry gentrifiers?
Or will longshot Fat Chance Kitchen: Bread Dead Redemption winner sweetgreen become the surprise victor via a baked-goods end-around?
Who will emerge as Bowl Baron and glop its goopy pile of protein and carbs into the most prestigious trophy in chain restaurant podcasting, the Dave Thomas Cup/Bowl? Which bowl will we offer to the whale-like Payakan from the Avatar franchise and also to the Brendan Fraser Whale, which Darren Arronofsky insists is not meant to refer to the guy but come on! Which bowl captures our soul?
Tonight, a Chompion will be crowned!
This week on Doughboys… live from Headgum Studios, it’s the Finale of Munch Madness 2023: The Tournament of Chompions: BOWL! Chipotle vs. Sweetfin vs. sweetgreen!
Let's a-go!
Statement from The Commissioner[]
The Commissioner joins the pod to welcome everyone to the Finale. He declares it the best Tournament in the history of Doughboys, but makes a quick adjustment to the rules. He declares the categories as scattergories, removing all the categories (except the Whale) used to score the bowls in prior rounds.
Susser also allows Mrs. Mitchell to end the controversy about whether Christmas is a cookie holiday, saying it will never be asked again.
Lastly, Susser announces next year's Tournament of Chompions 2024 theme: the entire Taco Bell menu.
"The Star-Spangled Bowler" from The Noid[]
Star Spangled Banner
| “ | Bowl say can you see By the dawn's early light |
” |
BOWL: Rules 📜[]
The rules for this year's Munch Madness 2023: The Tournament of Chompions: BOWL:
- Salad ain't valid. No salads! Bowls only.
- Chili is silly. No simple bowls of chili.
- Stew won't do. Bowl viscosity must be stew-level at minimum. Goop not soup!
- Gru will do. Discussion of Gru at any age is allowed.
- When it comes to strikes, we're at the bowling alley. Strikes are good! Three strikes and you are in.
- Two strikes = a 7-10 split decision and you are also in.
- Drinks are in the gutter. Sides are also in the gutter.
- Cookies are ookie. Cookies cannot be considered, but it must be asked: is Christmas a cookie holiday?
- When it comes to bread, there is more that will be said. Chips are also bread.
- However, drinks are in the nutter. Sides are in the nutter. You can consider sides and drinks. (The Pally rule; amended by Cherry.)
- Silverware and the bowl itself can be factored in to the decision.
BOWL: Finale 🍲[]
In BOWL, Sweetfin previously won its matchups against Poké Bar and CAVA.
Chipotle made the BOWL Finale by defeating Yoshinoya and then Pressed.
sweetgreen was added to the Finale by winning Bread Dead Redemption, after having previously losing to CAVA.
| guest / host | ordered from Sweetfin | ordered from Chipotle | ordered from sweetgreen |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Miso Eggplant and Mushroom Poke Bowl
|
Veggie Full Bowl
|
Super Green Goddess
|
| Mike Mitchell | Spicy Tuna Poke Bowl
|
Burrito Bowl
Chips & Tomatillo-Green Chili Salsa |
Harvest Bowl
Fish Taco Bowl (Mrs. Mitchell's order) Rosemary Focaccia |
| Lauren Lapkus | Classic Tuna Poke Bowl
Lil' Fish Kid's Bowl [Lauren's daughter's order] Taro Chips |
|
Super Green Goddess
|
| Nicole Byer | Sweetbox
|
Burrito Bowl
|
Custom Bowl
|
BOWL: Finale Elimination 🍲[]
First up, the Doughboys decide which of the three chains comes in third place, eliminated from the Finale.
| guest / host | third place |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Sweetgreen |
| Mike Mitchell | sweetfin |
| Lauren Lapkus | Chipotle |
| Nicole Byer | sweetfin |
Sweetfin is eliminated!
BOWL: Heart of a Chompion Award 🍲[]
This year, there were a number of possible nominees for the Heart of a Chompion Award:
- Headgum engineers Casey Donahue and Anya Kanevskaya
- hot sauce
- poké
- lids
- The Whale
Congratulations to lids! They win the 2023 BOWL: Heart of the Chompion Award!
BOWL: Chompion 🍲[]
Next, they must decide the Chompion between Chipotle and sweetgreen.
Which of these bowls are being given to The Dude in The Big Lebowski and is so good that it resurrects Donny back to life?
The winning bowl gets a strike. (Three strikes and you're in. Turkeys are good! But also two strikes is a 7-10 split decision and you advance as well.)
If it loses, it is declared a gutterbowl and is given to The Man.
| guest / host | BOWL: Chompion |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Chipotle |
| Mike Mitchell | Chipotle |
| Lauren Lapkus | Sweetgreen |
| Nicole Byer | Sweetgreen |
They tie!!
Congratulations to the two winners of the Dave Thomas Cup, the 2023 Bowl Chompions: Chipotle and Sweetgreen!
"Bowl Man" by Nick & Mitch[]
Sam & Dave "Soul Man"
| “ |
Comin' to you in a tasty bowl |
” |
Roast Spoonman[]
Richard Belzer, as Detective Munch
| “ | Richard Bowlzer, as Detective Munch Madness | ” |
Is Christmas A Cookie Holiday? 🎄🍪[]
| guest | is Christmas a cookie holiday? |
|---|---|
| Corinne Mitchell | no doubt about it. it's the ultimate cookie holiday. |
| John Hodgman | yes, absolutely. |
| Lauren Lapkus | yes |
| Nicole Byer | definitely |
Quotes[]
| “ | Mitch: That's the major leagues of taking a shit: Home Depot. Nick: I always think of the big leagues of shitting as a public beach. That's a rough bathroom. |
” |
–The Doughboys | ||
| “ | The older you get, the shorter life seems. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | It's only when you are old that you realize life is short. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | I like that it starts round but ends up triangle. | ” |
–Lauren Lapkus re: pizza | ||
| “ | Nicole: I would pay very good money to watch [Mitch] shit in a Litter-Robot. Lauren: I would pay fifteen dollars. |
” |
–Nicole and Lauren | ||
| “ | So much joy in life vanishes as time goes on... | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
Related Episodes[]
| BOWL episodes | Lauren Lapkus episodes | Nicole Byer episodes |
|---|---|---|
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| Sweetfin episodes | Chipotle episodes | sweetgreen episodes |
|---|---|---|
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Photos[]
