"Subway 4 with Andre Hyland" is Episode 435 of Doughboys, hosted by Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell. "subway 4 with Andre Hyland" was released on February 29, 2024.
"Tomorrow… with Andre Hyland" - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
Andre Hyland (@theandrehyland, The Jesse Miller Talk Show) joins the 'boys to talk The Slap, the Bengal barrel, and celeb sightings before a review of Subway. Plus, another edition of Pie in this Guy.
Nick's intro[]
“Let’s see how many times we can say ‘five dollar footlong.’ Let’s mention it as many times as possible without making someone hurt us.”: the result of this directive from MMB Marketing honchos, Jerry Cronin and Jamie Mambro, was the "Five Dollar Footlong" song, the most memorable earworm jingle of the 2000s.
Composed by Jimmy Harned of ad-music stable Tonefarm, the song was constantly on the airwaves in the dying days of commercial television, and successfully hammered home the value of a footlong sub sandwich for a fivespot. The sando’s actual size was well under twelve inches — a fraudulent length, like a falsely promised huge hog — but still a remarkable value for a thousand-plus calories of processed meats and machine-sliced veggies on an unfrozen bread log.
Today, inflation means those same sandwiches go for about twelve dollars, almost double the federal minimum wage. But back in the halcyon days of the Obama Era, thanks largely to the jingle, the promotion was a massive success for the world’s largest sandwich chain, and second-largest restaurant chain, in terms of locations.
Today, the chain no doubt wishes that song was their advertising legacy, as opposed to its actual legacy, funding the lecherous lifestyle of living mascot, Jared Fogle, for nearly two decades. Now, Fogle is spending nearly two decades in federal prison for sex crimes and the chain, too, is shackled in a sense, with locations shuttering, regulators fining, and franchise owners suing.
So can a limited-time footlong cookie, churro, and pretzel revive this decaying goliath in the new frontier of marketing, one driven by social media?
This week on Doughboys, we return, once again, to Subway.
Fork rating[]
The Doughboys have reviewed Subway three previous times. The first was in episode 17, when Nick gave it 2 forks and Mitch 3. The second visit was in episode 214 and both increased their ratings: Nick to 3 forks and Mitch to 3.25. Finally, they returned for episode 285, and Nick went to 2.5 forks and Mitch stayed at 3.25.
They also did a fourth podcast where they reviewed Subway's breakfast menu; Nick gave that 2.25 forks and Mitch loved it and gave it 4.25. Subway also appeared briefly in the Pie Noon tournament and did win a round in Hero's Journey: Sub-Optimal.
The main reason for their return in this episode is to try the new Subway Sidekicks: footlong churros, cookies, and pretzels.
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
1.5 forks |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
2.25 forks |
| Andre Hyland |
|
|
| shared |
|
Nick ordered a No Bready Bowl, but somehow Subway delivered it in sandwich form.
Mitch went to Subway on his own the day before the episode, and also had an order with The Doughboys.
The Doughboys loved The Footlong Cookie, were fine with the Churro, and did not enjoy the Pretzel.
Pie in This Guy[]
Don McLean "American Pie"
| “ |
I started eating pie pie |
” |
In this segment, Nick brings a mystery pie and using a series of clues, Mitch and the guest guess what it is.
Bavarian Chocolate Cream Pie
The winner gets the pie and the loser goes home empty-stomached.
The pie in this episode was a Bavarian Cream Pie from House of Pies in Los Angeles.
| guest / host | guess | result |
|---|---|---|
| The same European region is home to three Nobel Prize winners for Physics and this pie. | ||
| Andre Hyland | Bavarian Cream Pie | winner! |
| ||
Roast Spoonman[]
| “ | Shower Cum Laude | ” |
–Patrick | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | Mitch: Damn, you're good with numbers. Andre: Yea. |
” |
–Mitch re: Andre knowing what year a movie came out | ||
| “ | Mitch: "You don't bust out the big vocabulary so often"?! Here's another word for you: condensation. Nick: Did you mean 'condescending'? |
” |
–The Doughboys | ||
| “ | Mitch: I sometimes don't like eating outside for bug reasons. Andre: That's what Mitch calls homeless people. Pretty tasteless, Mitch. Pretty tasteless. |
” |
–Bugs | ||
Feedbag[]
| “ | In terms of normal restaurant seating, how would you rank booth, counter (diner counter, sushi counter), and booth? | ” |
–Evan | ||
| guest / host | seating ranking |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
| Mike Mitchell |
|
| Andre Hyland |
|
Restaurants[]
| restaurants referenced | location | notes |
|---|---|---|
| Skyline Chili / Gold Star Chili | Cincinnati, OH | Andre mentions these Cincinnati chains, prefers Skyline |
| D'Angelo / Kelly's Roast Beef | - | some sub talk |
| The Apple Pan | Los Angeles, CA | Andre saw Jon Lovitz there |
| House of Pies | Los Angeles, CA |
Plugs[]
| reference | notes |
|---|---|
| Bad Man | Andre's plugs |
| Munch Madness: For Whom The Bell Doughs: Dough Quiero Talk-O'-Bell | The Doughboys plugs |
Related Episodes[]
| Subway episodes |
|---|
|
Photos[]
