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"Starbucks Reserve with Jessica Chaffin" is Episode 210 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Starbucks Reserve with Jessica Chaffin" was released on July 4, 2019.

Starbrestweet

"Tomorrow...." - @doughboyspod

Synopsis[]

For our review of Starbucks Reserve, an upscale version of the ubiquitous coffee chain, we're joined by Jessica Chaffin (Abby's, Desperados) to discuss our most recent sampling of drinks and food items. Plus, a cake-pop tasting on an extended restaurant review.

Nick's intro[]

"He had become angry, bitter, and maddeningly defiant like a petulant child who'd decided to take his toy and go home."

Howardschultz

Howard Schultz

So wrote Frank Hughes in a devastating 2006 ESPN takedown of failed Seattle Supersonics owner, Howard Schultz.

Schultz had famously built the world's most successful coffee retailer when he took over, and vastly expanded, a Seattle company in 1988, making it a gargantuan global brand. In 2001, this Ray Kroc of coffee, now a billionaire, acquired Seattle's beloved NBA franchise for 200 million dollars.

What began on an optimistic note - a local success story and business whiz primed to apply his genius to the world of sports - quickly unraveled when it became clear Schultz was a megalomaniac with zero understanding of basketball who tried to run a team like a cutthroat corporation. He ran it, alright... into the ground: feuding with star players, management, and coaches, alienating fans, and ultimately demanding a 200-million dollar ransom from the city for a new arena. When lawmakers justifiably balked, he sold the team for a hefty profit to an Oklahoma City group that quickly maneuvered to move the team to their own city, ending men's pro basketball in Seattle - Schultz's greedy betrayal of the town that made him.

But like with his coffee company, he wasn't content with staying local, and in January of 2019, one of the most hated men in Seattle set his sights on becoming one of the most hated men in America, floating an independent Presidential bid that nobody asked for or wanted. On the trail, Schultz proved to be a charisma void who somehow made neoliberal centrist policies sound even less appealing, earning constant heckles in live appearances and online. Ignoring polls that showed he'd serve as a third-party spoiler, siphoning votes from the Democratic nominee, Schultz persisted for months, following the same pattern of charging full steam ahead with an ill-informed losing strategy, while dismissing all legitimate criticism.

Then, in May, after repeated battering from both sides, Schultz announced he was suspending his campaign for ambiguous "health reasons," like a pop star explaining a cancelled tour. As with his disastrous governorship of the Sonics, another naïve exercise in futility ended in an ignoble retreat.

Still, the coffee company that he founded is unquestionably ubiquitous and in 2014, it announced a more upscale concept, hawking a more elaborate food and drink menu in a setting akin to a high-end espresso bar.

Today, this fancier version has flagship stores in major cities across the globe. But the first location was, naturally, in Seattle, where the Supersonics are now ghosts, casualties of the most destructive singular force in global capitalism: the ego of a billionaire.

This week on Doughboys: Starbucks Reserve.

Fork rating[]

guest / host ordered rating
Nick Wiger
  • a Guatemalan coffee
1 fork
Mike Mitchell
  • Iced Caramel Cloud Macchiato
  • Double-Smoked Bacon, Cheddar & Egg Sandwich
  • Shaken Iced Tea Lemonade
2 forks
Jessica Chaffin
  • Cold Brew Malt
0.5 fork
shared
  • Baja Black Bean Veggie Wrap
  • PB&J Protein Box
  • Turkey Reuben
  • Sous Vide Egg Bites: Bacon & Gruyere
  • Sous Vide Egg Bites: Egg White & Red Pepper
  • Sous Vide Egg Bites: Chicken Chorizo Tortilla
  • Sous Vide Egg Bites: Ham, Cheddar & Peppers
  • Everybody's Favorite - Bantam Bagels
  • The Classic - Bantam Bagels
  • Blueberry Muffin
  • Old-Fashioned Glazed Donut
  • House Affogato
  • Iced Hazelnut Bianco Latte

With these scores, Starbucks Reserve makes the Broken Plate Club.

Flavor of the Week[]

In Flavor of the Week, The Doughboys try a variety of flavors of one item and rank them.

Along with their food above, The Doughboys also ordered three cake pops from Starbucks, which they ate live during the show. The three flavors seem to have been Frosted Doughnut Cake Pop, Birthday Cake Pop, and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cake Pop.

They liked the Doughnut one the best, with Birthday Cake second, and the Cookie Dough third.

Roast Spoonman[]

Starbresroast
Man with a less-varied wardrobe than a cartoon character

–@vince.refrigeration

Quotes[]

I was youthful once. I was merry. I rolled around in the grass.

–Nick Wiger

You can't beat a pair of boobs in a winter hot tub 'cause you've got the buoyancy and then you've got the cold air.

–Jessica Chaffin

Mitch: I don't buy ice cream at the grocery store too much.

Jessica: That's the most shocking thing I've heard today on this podcast.

–Mitch is not a Creamsman

Nick: I should also shout out vanilla. Vanilla is a flavor. It's one of my favorite flavors.

Jessica: Ohh you make me sad sometimes.

–Jessica figuring out Nick

#hashtags[]

  • #JapaneseBlowfishAnswer or #FunkyFish
  • #SnackToTheFuture

The Feedbag[]

I recently had my maiden voyage to Burgers Never Say Die, a local LA burger institution previously discussed on the pod with Farley Elliott. Their style of burgers and fries reminded me a lot of McDonald's but at a much higher quality. As I was eating, I thought this is what it must have been like to eat at McDonald's when they first opened in 1948.

My question is: if you could eat at any major fast food chain restaurant when they first opened, which would it be and why?

–Moses Goldfarb

Related Episodes[]

Starbucks episodes

Photos[]

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