"Rocklobsterfest: Red Lobster 4 with Sean Clements & Hayes Davenport" is Episode 76 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. This episode was released on October 27, 2016.
Synopsis[]
For the finale of Mitch and Wiger's monthlong tour of Red Lobster, they team up with another podcasting duo: Sean Clements and Hayes Davenport, the hosts of Hollywood Handbook. The four discuss the business side of podcasting, Sean's snack related marriage proposal, and Red Lobster's worth versus New England seafood. Plus, a Tom Cruise edition of Dinner and a Movie.
Nick's intro[]
Beyoncé in the "Formation" video
"When he fuck me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster"
Those are the visceral lyrics sung by Beyoncé in "Formation," the first single from her 2016 album Lemonade, which she performed at the Super Bowl 50 halftime show.
This horned-up shout-out from America's most beloved contemporary musician rocket-launched the seafood chain into the zeitgeist. Bloomberg reported that restaurant sales jumped by double digits the same week. Forced by the pressures of social media to comment, yet hamstrung by the overt sexuality of the lyric, the brand tamely tweeted in response, "Cheddar Bey Biscuits - has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" which was met with crickets.
But forty years before Queen B's profane tribute to America's biggest fish eatery, five Georgia musicians came into "formation" as a surf-music act called The B-52s. Two years later, they'd make their imprint on pop culture with their breakout single about the arthropod delicacy, as frontman Fred Schneider sang in a comparatively PG verse, "we were at a party / his earlobe fell in the deep / someone reached in and grabbed it / it was a Rock Lobster."
This week on Doughboys: the conclusion of RockLobsterFest, our month-long review of Red Lobster.
Lobster Claws and Candied Apples rating 🦞 🍎[]
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
3 candied apples |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
2.5 candied apples |
| Sean Clements |
|
3 lobster claws |
| Hayes Davenport |
|
1.5 lobster claws |
| Nick, Sean, & Hayes shared |
|
Rocklobsterfest Final Fork Scoring[]
During Rocklobsterfest, only the guest gave final fork ratings, until this, the final episode. Nick and Mitch were to rate each visit out of 4 tines (i.e., 1 fork), so they could add their visits (forks) together at the end of the month. However, in the second episode, Mitch changed the tine system of the previous episode to lobster claws. Then in the third episode, Nick changed it again to a scale of 1-4 ounces of melted butter. In this final visit, they rated out of 1-4 candy apples.
Then in the final episode, they added them all together - with an extra bonus fork to make it equal five forks. (The math doesn't add up right on Mitch's end score, but they go with 3.125 and he agrees with that, so that's what is used here. Mitch's score should be 3.19 forks.)
| host | visit 1 | visit 2 | visit 3 | visit 4 | bonus | total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | 3.5 tines | 3.5 claws | 2.0 oz of melted butter | 3 candy apples | 4 tines | 4 forks |
| Mike Mitchell | 3.5 tines | 2.25 claws | 1.5 oz of melted butter | 2.5 candy apples | 3 tines | 3.125 forks |
Overall, the five guests averaged 3.5 forks. Combined with Mitch's 3.125 and Nick's 4 overall scores, that gives Red Lobster an overall rating of 3.54 forks.
Dinner and a Movie 🍽️ 🎥[]
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
In this segment, The Doughboys have a picnic basket and are sneaking some food into a movie.
For this episode, the film chosen was Jack Reacher: Never Go Back, starring Tom Cruise, so the food choices are all Cruise-related.
| beverage | meal | dessert |
|---|---|---|
| a cocktail (Jack & Coke on ice) | endless onion rings with dippin' sauces | pistachio ice cream |
| grilled shrimp on the barbie |
Roast Spoonman[]
Rosie O'Donnell
| “ | Brosie O'Donnell | ” |
–Miles Dernbose | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | Mitch has joked before about stealing my wife, that's just a running thing. He means 'stealing' in the sense that Bluto steals Olive Oyl from Popeye. | ” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
| “ | The first bite is the best and all the remaining apple, you can throw in a river. | ” |
–Nick Wiger, on candied/caramel apples | ||
| “ | Mitch: I would love to tour the Haribo factory. Nick: I think the Haribo Corporation has trained for this exact scenario - where you get loose in the factory. They bring out guys with tranquilizer guns to try and take you down. |
” |
–The Doughboys v. Haribo | ||
| “ | Mitch: You guys got Wiger mad at you! Hayes: I do feel like I'm in trouble. |
” |
–The Doughboys | ||
#hashtags[]
- #DazedandNotConfused
- #ImAGummy or #GumChum vs. #ChocJock
- #HollywoodHotel
The Feedbag[]
| “ | While some restaurants only have TVs in the bar area, others have TVs in the main dining-room area. Are there any circumstances where you've found the placement of TVs distracting? | ” |
–Ian Menka | ||
| guest / tv | TVs in restaurants |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | keep it in the bar area |
| Mike Mitchell | screens are everywhere |
| Hayes Davenport | in bars, it's great, but in restaurants, too distracting |
Restaurants[]
| official visits | location | notes |
|---|---|---|
| Red Lobster | Inglewood, CA | Nick, Sean, and Hayes went to this location (with Sean's wife) |
| Red Lobster | Canoga Park, CA | Mitch went to this location (with Susser) |
| Red Lobster | Lakewood, CA | Nick took a separate trip to his hometown Red Lobster (with Natalie) |
| restaurants referenced | location | notes |
|---|---|---|
| Cold Stone Creamery | - | some discussion about Kowalick's Beyoncé story |
| Taqueria Los Anaya | Los Angeles, CA | Sean brings up this place |
Drops and Plugs[]
| references | notes |
|---|---|
|
in Mitch's drop (by Tom Buckles) |
| Making History | Sean's plug |
| Hollywood Handbook | Sean and Hayes' plug |
| Beyoncé "Formation" | in Nick's intro |
| The B-52's "Rock Lobster" | in Nick's intro |
Related Episodes[]
| Red Lobster episodes | Sean Clements and/or Hayes Davenport episodes |
|---|---|
|
|
Photos (via @doughboyspod)[]
