"Yarrrdoughbarrrchest: Pirate's Booty with The Pirate Known Only As Patchy Beard aka Reluctant John, John Hodgman" is Episode 370 of Doughboys, hosted by Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell. "Yarrrdoughbarrrchest: Pirate's Booty with The Pirate Known Only As Patchy Beard aka Reluctant John, John Hodgman" was released on October 7, 2022.
"Tomorrow... with John Hodgman" - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
John Hodgman (Judge John Hodgman, Up Here, Dicktown) joins the scallywags to discuss the Delta Sky Club, cruise ships, and plugs before a review of Pirate's Booty.
Nick's intro[]
“In the Commonwealth of Pyrates, he who goes the greatest Length of Wickedness, is looked upon with a kind of Envy amongst them… The Hero of whom we are writing, was thoroughly accomplished this Way, and some of his Frolicks of Wickedness were so extravagant, as if he aimed at making his Men believe he was a Devil incarnate.”
A General History of the Pyrates
This excerpt from A General History of the Pyrates, written by Captain Charles Johnson and first published in 1724, refers to a man alternately called either Edward Teach or Edward Thatch or Edward Thack — but best known as Blackbeard. Though his reign as pirate king was brief, from approximately 1716 to his death in 1718, his brazenness in menacing the Atlantic and Gulf Coasts of colonial America became legendary, as he prowled the seas with his feared cannon-crammed caravel called Queen Anne’s Revenge.
Known for his black beard, the dread pirate also was known to holster a trio of pistols in battle, and by legend used either lit matches or slow-burning fuses mounted under his hat to give the illusion that he himself was literally "smokin’." Blackbeard’s most famous gambit was blockading the port of Charles Town, holding hostage an entire city’s trade for ransom. Despite his bloodthirsty reputation, he was in fact known to show mercy to crews who surrendered, creating a feedback loop which led to him winning many ship-to-ship battles without firing a single shot.
On November 22, 1718, the Virginia colony’s hilariously-named Governor Spotswood dispatched a duo of Navy vessels to take out Blackbeard, his crews then depleted due to shore leave, and Blackbeard was shot, stabbed, and decapitated; his head mounted on a Royal Navy ship and his corpse dredged in the ocean.
But his legacy lives on as a man who dedicated his short and consequential life to the pursuit of booty.
This week on Doughboys… Yarrrctdoughbarrrchest begins, a month of pirate-themed eating, drinking, and revelry, as we set sail for Pirate’s Booty.
"Yo dough, yo dough, a pirate's bite for me!"
Pieces of Eight rating 🏴☠️☠️[]
Pirate's Booty Cheddar Blast! and Aged White Cheddar
Since this is part of Yarrrdoughbarrrchest, the Doughboys rate each flavor of Pirate's Booty on a scale of 0-5 Pieces of Eight.
They also decide if the flavors have to walk the plank or not.
| guest / host | Aged White Cheddar | Cheddar Blast! | Smart Puffs | total rating | Plank or No Plank |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | - | - | - | 2 Pieces of Eight | No Plank |
| Mike Mitchell | - | 3.5 | - | 2.75 Pieces of Eight | No Plank |
| John Hodgman | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2.5 Pieces of Eight | No Plank |
Both Mitch and Nick agree that Cheddar Blast is the best of the three Pirate's Booty flavors.
Family Food: Mitch's Birthday Cake Edition 🎂[]
Family Feud
In this segment, Nick has a food-related survey/list. Mitch and the guest compete to guess the results.
Today, in honor of Mitch's 40th birthday on the day of the episode release, Nick has a list of the most popular flavors of cake in the world. Three wrong answers ends the game, or the first to get six correct.
| Mitch's guess | Hodgman's guess |
|---|---|
| Chocolate Cake (1) | |
| Red Velvet Cake (2) | |
Birthday Boy Mitch is the winner! He continued to guess after John was eliminated.
The remaining four flavors were Carrot (3), Banana (4), Pineapple Upside Down (5), and Black Forest (6).
Roast Spoonman[]
Captain Jack Sparrow
| “ | Captain Jack Sbarro | ” |
–Kevin | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | Very normal for a podcast in its 8th year to do a pirate month! | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | I hear that Disneyland closed Pirates of the Caribbean because they knew that you were going to do this theme month. | ” |
–John Hodgman | ||
| “ | I wish I could taste these through the tongue of a child. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
#hashtags[]
- #FlavorLess
The Feedbag[]
| “ | Vanilla is a flavor. Birthday is a flavor. Sea salt is a flavor. But should anything be allowed to be a flavor? Some flavors do not pull their weight and should not be allowed to stand on their own. Some flavors need to be removed. Which ones should be axed? | ” |
–David B. and Chrissie | ||
| guest / host | flavors that should no longer be flavors |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
| Mike Mitchell |
|
| John Hodgman |
|
| Emma Erdbrink |
|
Photos[]
