"Garden of Eatin': Onions with Arden Myrin" is Episode 459 of Doughboys, hosted by Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell. "Garden of Eatin': Onions with Arden Myrin" was released on August 15, 2024.
"Tomorrow… with Arden Myrin" - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
Arden Myrin (@ardenmyrin, Step Aside) joins the 'boys to talk The Cheesecake Factory, Kinsey, and professions before talking all things onions as we continue our monthlong vegetable series, The Garden of Eatin': Veggie Table: The Green Gobblin'. Plus, another edition of Binge.
Nick's intro[]
Yahoo Serious Film Festival
“I know those words, but that sign makes no sense”: this was Lisa Simpson in the season-six episode of The Simpsons titled "Bart versus Australia," written by Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein. The sign in question was a marquee advertising a Yahoo Serious film festival — Mr. Serious being an Australian multi-hyphenate whose film Young Einstein was part of an '80s American fascination with the land of Oz. The transcontinental cross-pollination extended to the Crocodile Dundee film franchise, the Men at Work single “Down Under,” and an Energizer-battery commercial campaign featuring Aussie footballer Mark "Jacko" Jackson.
Today, the legacy of this decade-long Aussie-American flirtation survives in the chain restaurant, Outback Steakhouse, birthed in 1988 by a Tampa, Florida quartet of Americans who’d never actually set foot in Australia, and unashamedly admit to cashing in on the trend. Adorned with lazy Australian-pastiche shorthand like koala murals and wall-mounted boomerangs, the eatery’s signature dish became not its paprika-slathered steaks, but the Bloomin’ Onion, a cross-cut and deep-fried indulgence served with a horseradish aioli.
Naturally, the dish has no actual Aussie ties — it originates not from the land of crocodiles, but from the land of gators, down in the bayou, at the New Orleans restaurant Russell’s Marina Grill, where in 1985 Chef Jeff Glowski created the dish he called the onion mum. One of Glowski’s coworkers at the time was Outback Steakhouse cofounder Tim Gannon, who poached the app and claimed credit. This clone became such a sensation that it itself would be cloned, most notably by Chili’s, whose Awesome Blossom became a stalwart of its Tex-Mex menu. The Bloomin’ Onion also became enemy number one of nutritionists tasked with compiling annual listicles of the unhealthiest menu items: the big, breaded honker clocks in at a staggering 1900 calories and 214% of the FDA’s daily recommended sodium intake.
But while few other dishes so prominently front-page the allium, the onion is utterly ubiquitous not just in chain restaurants, but in global cuisine. In fact, by some metrics, onions, not just the Bloomin’ varietal, represent the second most consumed vegetable on all of planet Earth — not just the Land Down Under.
This week on Doughboys… we continue the Garden of Eatin’: Veggie Table: The Green Gobblin’, a month of reviewing Mother Nature’s fast food… with onions.
Salad Fork rating 🥗[]
For Garden of Eatin', The Doughboys rate onions on a scale of 5 Salad Forks.
Then collectively, they decide if it gets a Thumbs Up or a Brown Thumbs Down.
| guest / host | rating | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | 5 Salad Forks | 🧅 👍🏼 |
| Mike Mitchell | 5 Salad Forks | |
| Arden Myrin | 5 Salad Forks |
Nick includes garlic and shallots in his onion ranking.
With these scores, onions make the (Platinum) Elevated Bed!
Vegetable Opinions 🧅[]
| guest / host | favorite green character | favorite onion | ideal number of onion rings |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Green Yoshi | red onion | 6 |
| Mike Mitchell | Kermit | 5 | |
| Arden Myrin | - | Vidalia | 6 |
Binge 💘[]
In this segment, The Doughboys peruse dating profiles for foods on the fictional dating app, Binge, and decide if they would swipe left or right.
| dating profile | Nick Wiger | Mike Mitchell | Arden Myrin |
|---|---|---|---|
|
right | right | right |
|
right | right | right |
|
right | right | right |
|
right | left | left |
|
right | left | left |
|
left | left | left |
Roast Spoonman[]
Payakan
| “ | Slice of Pizza Pie-akan | ” |
–Eli | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | I'm just trying to think of which bodily function I'd prefer to get rid of. | ” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
| “ | I wanna have a baby and name it Stromboli. | ” |
–Arden Myrin | ||
| “ | You'll go down as one of the great big-assed men in comedy. | ” |
–Mike Mitchell to Nick | ||
| “ | Are there emojis in the Bible? | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
The Feedbag[]
| “ | If you could commission any artist to write a jingle for a restaurant, who would you get and what restaurant? | ” |
–Tyler | ||
| guest / host | artist singing a jingle | Pink Floyd Red Lobster songs |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
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| Mike Mitchell |
|
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| Arden Myrin | Doja Cat for Fuddruckers | |
| Emma Erdbrink | Jah Rule for Burger King |
#hashtags[]
- #TopGreen
- #TopGreen
Drops and Plugs[]
| reference | notes |
|---|---|
| Bee Gees "Stayin' Alive" | in Mitch's drop (by Charlie) |
|
Arden's plugs |
Related Episodes[]
| Garden of Eatin' episodes | Arden Myrin episodes |
|---|---|
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Photos[]
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