"Olive Garden 3 with Alison Rosen" is Episode 298 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Olive Garden 3 with Alison Rosen" was released on April 29, 2021.
"Tomorrow... with Alison Rosen" - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
Alison Rosen (Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend, Childish) joins the 'boys to talk about their favorite egg preparations before a review of Olive Garden. Plus, another edition of Let Me Be Frank.
Nick's intro[]
No one knows the exact origin of the name "Orlando." According to the city's official history, the Florida metropolis was named either after a local judge's employee, or a Shakespeare character beloved by that same judge, or a caravan driver who died en route to Tampa, or a camp guard killed in the Seminole War.
Orlando, FL
But Orlando would flip from a nondescript Florida citrus and military town into one of the defining American cities in 1965 when Walt Disney selected it as the home of Disney World. In 1971, Disney World's Magic Kingdom opened and today, Disney World consists of a massive complex of four theme parks and two water parks and growing. In 1990, Universal Parks & Resorts followed suit with Universal Studios Florida and added the Islands of Adventure in 1999. And along with SeaWorld Orlando and its sister park Discovery Cove, Legoland Florida, and more niche options like the evangelical-operated Holy Land Experience, the properties collectively entrenched Orlando as the family equivalent of Las Vegas, the theme-park capital of the world.
Driven primarily by the big two of Disney and Universal and their range of intellectual property as sprawling as the greater Orlando area itself, O-Town has become one of the biggest tourist destinations in the world; right behind Cairo and Athens and ahead of Moscow, Venice, and Madrid.
And as a goldmine of themed artifice, it is fitting that in 1982, Orlando was chosen as the test market for a sit-down Italian-American concept conceived as a chain from the very beginning by corporate owner, General Mills.
Despite the brick facade and Three Tenors-powered dining-room playlist, the restaurant's actual attachment to Italy is about as superficial as that of Epcot's Italian Pavilion. Nevertheless, the eatery's ample pasta portions and neverending salad bowls, subsequently expanded to include soup and breadsticks as well, were a hit with hungry locals and, in short order, it expanded across North America.
Today in its parent company Darden's careful verbiage, it's the nation's "largest chain of Italian-themed restaurants," an Orlando original through and through... whoever Orlando was.
This week on Doughboys, we return once again to Olive Garden.
Fork rating[]
The Doughboys have reviewed Olive Garden twice before. The first time back in 2016, Nick rated it 2.5 forks and Mitch gave it 1.5 forks. Two years later, they returned and Nick gave it 3 forks and Mitch gave it the oddly-tined 2.85 forks.
| guest / host | ordered | how Olive Garden subverted their expectations of what Olive Garden could be | rating |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
it was better | 3.5 forks |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
it was good! | 4 forks |
| Alison Rosen |
|
the breadsticks weren't good | 2 forks |
Spoonman's Bite of the Night goes to the Chicken Parmigiana (from his Tour of Italy dish).
Let Me Be Frank 🌭📰[]
| “ | You may know me as The Burger Boy, Nick Wiger, but many may not know my full legal name is Nicolas Frank Wiger. And sometimes, I go by Frank.
That's right, it's time to review this week in hot-dog news in another edition of Let Me Be Frank. |
” |
The Lovin' Spoonful "Summer in the City"
| “ |
Hot dog simmer in the city |
” |
Elvis Presley "Hound Dog"
| “ |
You ain't nothin' but a hot dog
They said you a sandwich
|
” |
Goodfellas
| “ | Wiger was cuttin' every link between himself and the hot-dog world and by 'link,' I mean actual hot-dog links. But it had nothing to do with me - he was a vegetarian now. So I gave Wiger the Google News about hot dogs and he gave me some Patreon money. From then on, I kept my mouth shut.
I knew Wiger. He had the Doughathon cash. It was his. I know he kicked some money upstairs to Emma, but that was it. It made him sick to have to turn money over to those actual charities. He'd rather wack off - just sit inside all day and jack it. Anyway, what did I care? I wasn't asking for anything and besides I was making bar pizzas with Dano through my Quincy connections. But still, for months after the Doughathon, they were finding bodies all over. By the time they found Susser in the hot-dog cart, his body was so swelled up, it took them two days to cut him out. And that's before he even ate a single hot dog. Still, I never saw Wiger so happy. He was like a kid. He even wore a spinny hat and had a big lollipop. I had drops coming in through DK and my Doughscord people and after awhile even the Rob Lowe thing began to calm down. But the thing that made Wigey so happy that morning was that this was the day that Yusong was being made. He was joining the WGA. Wigey was so excited, you'd think that he just saw Jon Hamm's hog. He must have made four calls to Yusong's house. This is a guy who doesn't even use his phone on Sundays, so he had a signal set up with Phyllis Nagy, so he'd know the minute the ceremony was over. You know, we always called each other Doughboys, like you said to somebody, "you're not gonna like this guy, he's not funny, he's a Doughboy, he really sucks." You understand? We were Doughboys. Fat guys. But Wiger and I couldn't join the WGA because podcasts are stupid and they aren't covered by the union yet. It's some old-school Hollyweird shit. To become a member of the WGA, you gotta actually write stuff down in a script - not just talk into a microphone about a subject you aren't even an expert on. Having a podcast is the lowest honor you can get in Hollywood, but it's the closest you'll feel to having a family and a crew in this awful city. It means that you call a friend in to bullshit with you on mic two hours every week. It also means you gotta go on their podcast and bullshit with them, as long as you don't literally have any other single excuse not to. It's basically a license to be a loser. But as far as Wiger was concerned, with Yusong being in the WGA, it's like we all were. Screeners, Q&A's, Zoom meetings with showrunners. It was the Hollywood dream. |
” |
In this segment, Mitch searches Google for 'hot dog' and discovers the latest news about hot dogs. The Doughboys discuss what they find.
- Mitch immediately finds an article about round hot dogs! They all seem quite put off by it, with Alison comparing the hot-dog patty to cannibalism.
- Wienerschnitzel is looking for partners to go global.
- An article notes that scientists cooked a hot dog in the lavaflow of an Icelandic volcano that had recently erupted.
- Further articles note a possible bacon hot-dog shortage, and that the best scene in Zack Snyder's Justice League had hot dogs.
- Next, there is an article about a baseball-stadium hot-dog food tester, which both Nick and Mitch agree sounds like a dream job.
- Lastly, Mitch turns up a story on Snopes about the founder of Costco telling the current Costco CEO he would kill him if he raised hot-dog prices.
Roast Spoonman[]
André 3000
| “ | Entrée 3000 | ” |
–@jonny_is_good | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | Mitch: Can I just apologize and Nick's behalf and me too, that your night out was to the Olive Garden? Alison: No worries! I did it to myself. |
” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
| “ | You got extra breadsticks! Shut up! Why are you crying about it? | ” |
–Mike Mitchell re: Nick getting 12 breadsticks by himself | ||
| “ | Mitch: Isn't that the great thing about a hot dog? It is fun the way that it is shaped! It's fun to fucking suck down a hot dog. It's great! Nick: The form factor is a real hoot. |
” |
–The Dogboys | ||
#hashtags[]
- #LiveRoast
- #RestaurantIP
The Feedbag[]
| “ | In honor of this year's Oscar's In Memoriam segment, what are some of your favorite past chains that are no longer with us? | ” |
–@whatupsnoah | ||
Related Episodes[]
| Olive Garden episodes | Alison Rosen episodes |
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Photos[]
