"Einstein Bros. Bagels with Tony Rodríguez" is Episode 315 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Einstein Bros. Bagels with Tony Rodríguez" was released on August 26, 2021.
"Tomorrow... with Tony Rodríguez" - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
Tony Rodríguez (The Simpsons, The Late Late Show, Spanish Aquí Presents) joins the 'boys to talk White Castle and childhood chain restaurants before a review of Einstein Bros. Bagels. Plus, another edition of Family Food.
Nick's intro[]
Boston Chicken
In 1995, Boston Chicken rebranded as Boston Market, reflecting a menu that grown beyond rotisserie birds; but it's perhaps only the second most impactful brand decision Boston Chicken would make that year, as they also launched a breakfast chain, Progressive Bagel Concepts Inc., with its first location in Utah.
The company would quickly unveil a more memorable name for its eateries, though it has nothing to do with the wild-haired physicist who discovered the theory of relativity, nor are there actual brothers involved. In fact, the brand is a wholly invented fiction, the Brothers as real as the Burger King or the JolliBee.
The new Boston Chicken subsidiary employed a novel strategy in the chain-restaurant sector of purchasing existing neighborhood bagel shops and unifying them under one brand, like some kind of bagel Borg, and the chain quickly grew into hundreds of locations, buoyed by the 1996 purchase of competitor, Noah's.
But another merger would prove wildly controversial (and with good reason).
In 2014, the chain was bought by German conglomerate, JAB Holdings, founded and still owned by the Riemann family. And in 2019, it surfaced that patriarch Albert Riemann Sr. and scion Albert Riemann Jr., had, in life, been active members of the Nazi Party who provided financial support to the SS and Adolf Hitler from as early as 1933, in addition to using forced labor in their factories. The association would be troubling for any company, but potentially disastrous for a bagelry whose brand includes a Jewish surname. JAB Holdings quickly made a paltry charitable and a 'good enough' approximation of an apology.
Ultimately, the controversy proved to be a mere speed bump, as Americans decided that the company's output was a 'good enough' approximation of a bagel, and along with co-brand Noah's, the restaurants today comprise the largest bagel chain in the US.
This week on Doughboys, Einstein Bros. Bagels.
Fork rating[]
As noted in the intro, Einstein Bros. and Noah's are co-brands: they have mainly identical menus (there are a few differences, but much is the same), yet operate under separate names/locations. The Doughboys reviewed Noah's in 2019, when Nick and Mitch each gave it 3 forks.
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
|
| Mike Mitchell |
|
22 forks |
| Tony Rodríguez |
|
4 forks |
Tony made two trips to Einstein Bros. for his review/order.
With these scores, Einstein Bros. joins the Golden Plate Club! (This result is Mr. Hole-approved.)
One week later, Nick adjusts his score down to 3 forks and removes it from the Golden Plate Club. (Mr. Hole doesn't approve.)
Family Food[]
Family Feud
In Family Food, Nick finds a food-related survey and Mitch and the guest try to guess the results.
For this episode, Nick has a list of America's favorite bagel flavors in 2019, via grubhub ordering data.
The top-5 answers are on the board. They alternate picks. Three strikes and you lose.
| Tony's guesses | Mitch's guesses |
|---|---|
| Sesame (#2) | Everything (#1) |
| Cinnamon Raisin (#3) | Plain (X) |
| Pumpernickel (#5) | Poppy Seed (#4) |
Mitch and Tony cleared the board! Nick declares them both winners.
Roast Spoonman[]
Chewbacca
| “ | Ahchoobacca | ” |
–Shawn (not a piece of shit) | ||
Crocodile Dundee
| “ | Burpadile Dundee | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
Boris Yeltsin
| “ | Boris Belchin' | ” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | If you are up in a belltower by yourself and need some companions in your earholes, subscribe to the Doughboys podcast. We're there for you!
If you're relegated to the sewers and occasionally you surface for air to search for provisions, maybe strike up a friendship with a surface-dweller... if you're that kind of person, listen to the Doughboys! We're there for you! |
” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
| “ | I'm glad I exposed this company's Nazi past, so let's move on from that... to the food! | ” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
| “ | Do you know how I knew that Einstein [Bros.] = 2 forks squared? I saw a bagel fall out of a tree. | ” |
–Albert Einstein | ||
The Feedbag[]
| “ | On my last night in New York, my friend of thirty years took me out for a final night of eating and drinking. He also brought one of his insufferable friends, a guy I didn't even know. I was having a bad night. Then, when I think things can't get any worse, he asked to take a bite of my hot dog and eats the whole thing!
Emotions were already high, and I became so enraged, I just left. It was a really good hot dog. We later got into an email spat about this incident that almost ended our friendship. Have you guys experienced any food-related transgressions that created such an extreme reaction? |
” |
–Cheerington | ||
| guest / host | food transgressions |
|---|---|
| answer | nobody really had an example of any transgressions, but all three were outraged at the situation described |
| there is a follow-up Feedbag about this situation in this episode (and a full episode about it here too). |
Photos[]
