"Doughlympics: Domino’s v. Papa John’s v. Pizza Hut with Michael Blaiklock" is Episode 64 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Doughlympics: Domino’s v. Papa John’s v. Pizza Hut with Michael Blaiklock" was released on August 4, 2016.
Synopsis[]
Actor and comedian Michael “Mookie” Blaiklock (Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp, Comedy Bang! Bang!) is in studio for a discussion of Massachusetts Dunkin’ loyalty and to judge the pizza portion of the 2016 Doughlympic Susser Games. Plus: An exclusive bonus discussion of movie theater grub with film critic Lights Camera Jackson.
Nick's intro[]
Igglybuff / Jigglypuff / Wigglytuff evolution
From roughly 800 B.C. through 400 A.D., the ancient Olympics were convened every four years, gathering athletes from all over Greece for a multi-week, multi-event competition.
After a millenia-and-a-half hiatus, in 1894, the International Olympic Committee was formed, relaunching the Games as a global tradition.
Now, much as an Igglybuff evolving into a Jigglypuff, and subsequently Wigglytuff, the competition takes on its third form: a battle within the world of chain restaurants.
Our first batch of combatants: Domino's, the largest global pizza chain, founded as Dominick's in Eastern Michigan; Pizza Hut, the largest domestic pizza chain and 1/3 of Yum! Brands; and Papa John's, the number-three pizzeria, created by its namesake and plasticine monster of capitalism, John Schnatter.
This week on Doughboys: week one of the 2016 Doughlympics Susser Games: Pizza Division.
Doughlympics Rules[]
For each category, The Doughboys attempt to get as close to the same order as possible from each restaurant.
Susser times the discussions, and each item is then rated on a scale of 0.0 - 6.0.
They also give each contestant a national anthem:
| chain | national anthem |
|---|---|
| Domino's | Van Morrison "Domino" |
| Papa John's | Papa Roach "Last Resort" |
| Pizza Hut | The Spinners "Spaceballs" |
Wings Event 🍗[]
For the Wings Event, the Doughboys decided to get bone-in buffalo wings from each chain: Domino's Hot Buffalo Wings, Pizza Hut Wingstreet Traditional Buffalo Wings, and Papa John's Buffalo Wings.
A penalty was proffered to Pizza Hut in this event for forgetting to deliver the ranch dressing. Nick also deducted one full point from Papa John's because Papa John Schnatter is awful.
| 🍗 Wings Scoring | Domino's | Papa John's | Pizza Hut |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | 2.01 | .87 | 2.5 |
| Mike Mitchell | 1.550 | 1.90 | 1.5 |
| Mookie Blaiklock | 2.0 | 1.2 | 4.7 |
| Silver 🥈 | Bronze 🥉 | Gold 🥇 |
Breadsticks Event 🥖[]
For the Breadsticks event, The Doughboys ordered breadsticks from each place, despite Mitch's protests to order cheesy breads. They had Domino's Breadsticks, Pizza Hut Breadsticks, and Papa John's Original Breadsticks.
Mitch deducted .5 from Papa John's for having his least favorite sauce, and .1 from Pizza Hut for having runny sauce. Nick also deducted one full point from Papa John's because Papa John Schnatter is awful (though Susser does not allow a negative score).
| 🥖 Breadsticks Scoring | Domino's | Papa John's | Pizza Hut |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | 0.7 | 0.0 | 0.4 |
| Mike Mitchell | 2.985 | 2.7 | 3.13789 |
| Mookie Blaiklock | 3.0 | 0.4 | 2.6 |
| Gold 🥇 | Bronze 🥉 | Silver 🥈 |
Dessert Event 🍪[]
For the Dessert event, the Doughboys were unable to get more precise duplicate orders from each place, but came as close as possible. From Domino's, they ordered a Marbled Cookie Brownie; from Pizza Hut, the Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie; from Papa John's, the Hershey's Chocolate Chip Cookie.
Nick also deducted one full point from Papa John's because Papa John Schnatter is awful.
| 🍪 Dessert Scoring | Domino's | Papa John's | Pizza Hut |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | 4.1 | 1.0 | 3.8 |
| Mike Mitchell | 5.15 | 3.8818188 | 4.69 |
| Mookie Blaiklock | 3.2 | 1.9 | 3.8 |
| Gold 🥇 | Bronze 🥉 | Silver 🥈 |
Pizza Event 🍕[]
For the Pizza event, The Doughboys simply ordered a medium Pepperoni Pizza from each chain.
Mitch added .25 to Papa John's score because of the garlic sauce. Nick also deducted one full point from Papa John's because Papa John Schnatter is awful.
| 🍕 Pizza Scoring | Domino's | Papa John's | Pizza Hut |
|---|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | 4.34 | 3.0 | 4.20 |
| Mike Mitchell | 3.135 | 3.0 | 4.32 |
| Mookie Blaiklock | 2.5 | 4.9 | 0.04 |
| Silver 🥈 | Gold 🥇 | Bronze 🥉 |
Doughlympics Pizza Division Medal Results🏅[]
| Event | Domino's | Papa John's | Pizza Hut |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wings 🍗 | Silver 🥈 | Bronze 🥉 | Gold 🥇 |
| Breadsticks 🥖 | Gold 🥇 | Bronze 🥉 | Silver 🥈 |
| Dessert 🍪 | Gold 🥇 | Bronze 🥉 | Silver 🥈 |
| Pizza 🍕 | Silver 🥈 | Gold 🥇 | Bronze 🥉 |
| Overall | Silver 🥈 | Bronze 🥉 | Gold 🥇 |
Fryathlon 🍟[]
In this ridiculous Doughlympics event, the Doughboys focus not on eating fries, but in counting them.
Which chain has more fries in a small order?
| chain | fry count | medal |
|---|---|---|
| McDonald's | 62 | 🥇 |
| Wendy's | 45 | 🥈 |
| Burger King | 39 | 🥉 |
Roast Spoonman[]
Rick Moranis
| “ | Thick Moranis | ” |
–Jesse Tiffan | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | Mookie, when I first met ya, I was kind of afraid of your whole crew. | ” |
–Mike "Pipsqueak" Mitchell | ||
| “ | Play this one on the 2x speed on your podcast app. | ” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
| “ | If you're one of those little weightlifting fucks... come at me! | ” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
| “ | I don't have a reputation of being a dirty man with an unwashed asshole. | ” |
–Nick Wiger | ||
| “ | Evan: Guys, I think it's off to a great start, the Doughlympics. How do you feel? Mitch: Bad. |
” |
–just one episode in! | ||
"Lights Camera" Jackson interview[]
At the end of the episode, the Doughboys have a short interview segment with film critic, Lights Camera Jackson.
They mainly discuss snacks and drinks at a movie theatre. They bring up Nick's skepticism of popcorn, which both Jackson and Mookie agree with. Mitch thinks they're all insane.
They then of course ask Jackson about Star Wars: The Force Awakens. They then ask him for his favorite five films of 2016 (it was still summer) and his favorite movies about food.
| guest / host | top-5 films of 2016 (to that point) | favorite food movies |
|---|---|---|
| Lights Camera Jackson |
|
|
#hashtags[]
- #BrosvsJoes
The Feedbag[]
| “ | It's beach season and there are some foods I eat only at the beach. Saltwater taffy is hugely popular here on the Oregon coast. And even though I think they are disgusting, I have a hard time passing up an elephant ear.
Do you guys have beach-only snacks for this time of year? |
” |
–Jeff Renfro | ||
| guest / host | beach/pier/seaside treats |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
| Mike Mitchell |
|
| Mookie Blaiklock |
|
Restaurants[]
| restaurants | notes |
|---|---|
| Dunkin' Donuts | lots of talk about Dunkin' |
Plugs and Drops and Things[]
| reference | notes |
|---|---|
|
Mookie's plugs |
|
in Mitch's drop (by Jack) |
| The Spinners "Space Balls" | Pizza Hut's national anthem |
| Van Morrison "Domino" | Domino's national anthem |
| Papa Roach "Last Resort" | Papa John's national anthem |
Related Episodes[]
| Doughlympics | Domino's episodes | Papa John's episodes |
|---|---|---|
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Photos (via @doughboyspod)[]
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