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"Costco with Griffin Newman" is Episode 260 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Costco with Griffin Newman" was released on July 16, 2020.

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"Tomorrow, Friendly Green Grocer Mitch’s Grocery Store Month continues..." - @doughboyspod

Synopsis[]

Actor and King of Kranch Griffin Newman (The Tick, Blank Check Podcast) joins the 'boys to talk Disney, New York supermarkets and review Seattle-founded club store Costco. Plus, the debut of Slop Quiz.

Nick's intro[]

In June of 2020, developer Naughty Dog released The Last of Us Part II for PlayStation 4, the sequel to their 2013 critical and commercial sensation about humanity coping with the aftermath of a fungal plague that turns the infected into zombie-like creatures. Set two decades after the outbreak, the world of The Last of Us is desperate and brutal, under constant threat of attacks by swarms of infected Runners and Clickers, though it's often surviving humans who pose the biggest threat, divided into factions warring over scarce resources and perpetuating a vicious cycle of violence.

In the story of Part II, the player traverses the American West, including an extended campaign in a post-apocalyptic vision of Frasier's hometown of Seattle. Mostly vacant, demolished, and overgrown by plant life, one institution helps connect the ruins with the Emerald City we know today: the ubiquitous outpost of Ruston Coffee, the game's fictional stand-in for Seattle-founded coffee shop, Starbucks.

Rustoncost

Ruston Coffee in The Last of Us Part II

And while Starbucks has become a part of Seattle and American cultural identity, there's another Seattle-founded chain that is similarly entrenched in our lives: a warehouse-sized club store founded in 1983 by James Sinegal and Jeffrey Brotman.

Requiring a paid membership, the store developed a fanatical following among budget-minded shoppers with its bulk offerings of foodstuffs, paper goods, and alcohol, and expanded its footprint across the Pacific Northwest throughout the '80s. In 1983, the chain acquired the similar San Diego-founded concept Price Club, and the two stores combined branding and kept growing like a Bloater infected with cordyceps.

Beyond its grocery offerings and free food samples (currently put on hold due to our own real-world plague), the store features a bustling food court offering loss-leading hot dogs, pizza, and sweet treats.

Today with nearly 800 outposts, it trails only Walmart as the largest retailer in terms of sales volume in the world.

And so, in the future depicted in the Last of Us franchise, where one's survival is predicated on shanking stalkers with switchblades and detonating dogs with explosive arrows, you might find success scavenging for supplies in the ruins of a warehouse-sized club store founded in Seattle.

This week on Doughboys, our month-long review of supermarket eats, Friendly Green Grocer Mitch's Grocery Store Month, continues with Costco.

Friendly Green Grocer Mitch's Grocery Store Month[]

For this month-long look at grocery stores, The Doughboys take these aspects into consideration:

  1. How's it looking? (overall impression/name/mascot/etc.)
  2. Parking
  3. Produce
  4. Original Snacks
  5. Frozen Snacks
  6. Room Temperature Snacks
  7. Check-out
  8. Hoity-Toityness
  9. Bagging and carts
  10. Price

The scoring is not the usual five forks, but out of ten carts. A basket is half a cart.

An average of 8/10 will get into the Green Grocer Mitch's Freezer Club (the equivalent of the Golden Plate Club).

Cart rating[]

As with the other Grocery Store Month visits, The Doughboys focus their purchases entirely on the store's own brand of goods (in Costco's case, Kirkland Signature items).

guest / host food court order groceries bought rating
Nick Wiger
  • Slice of Cheese Pizza
  • Hot Dog
  • Fruit Smoothie
  • Shelled Pistachios
  • Spanish Queen Olives
  • Red Grapefruit Cups
  • Ancient Grains Probiotic Granola
  • Chicken Bakes
  • Italian Sausage and Beef Lasagna
10 carts
Mike Mitchell
  • Diet Pepsi
  • Slice of Cheese Pizza
  • Hot Dog
  • Berry Smoothie
  • Blueberry Muffins
  • Chocolate Chocolate Chip Muffins
  • Organic Dried Tart Montmorency Cherries
  • Organic Tortilla Chips
  • Organic Salsa
  • Organic Raw Ginger Lemonade Kombucha
  • Sliced Roasted Turkey Breast
  • Organic Chunky Guacamole
  • Trail Mix
  • Breaded Panko Shrimp
  • Chocolate Almond Dipped Vanilla Ice Cream Bars
  • *Diet Cokes
  • *Half Tea & Half Lemon Spindrifts
  • *G Zero Glacier Freeze Gatorade
  • *Pressed Juice
  • *greek yogurt
  • *70" big screen TV
10 carts
Griffin Newman
  • Raspberry Iced Tea
  • Slice of Pepperoni Pizza
  • Hot Dog
  • Berry Smoothie
  • Strawberry Sundae
  • Decaf Coffee
  • Coffee
  • Frozen Pizzas
  • Elephant Ear Cookies (Palmiers)
  • Peanut Butter Pretzels
  • Milk Chocolate Raisins
10 carts

Mitch also bought some non-Kirkland items, which were not part of the rating (the starred items above).

Costco's Grocery Story Month rating is 10.00 carts, which scales to 5.00 forks. Thus, Costco joins the Platinum Cart Club!

(It will be removed from Platinum club in a later episode. -ed.)

Slop Quiz[]

Famguyseinf

Family Guy and Seinfeld

In this new segment, Nick has a food-related exam (pop quiz) and Mitch and the guest compete for superiority.

For this episode, the slopic (topic) is to guess whether the restaurant named is from Family Guy or Seinfeld (as Griffin Newman shares names of characters from those two shows).

Whoever gets the most answers correct is declared the winner.

clue guess answer score (MM - GN)
Monk's Cafe Mitch: Seinfeld Seinfeld 1 - 0
The Drunken Clam Mitch: Family Guy Family Guy 2 - 0
Mendy's Griffin: Seinfeld Seinfeld 2 - 1
McBurgerTown Mitch: Family Guy Seinfeld 2 - 1
Woo's Chinese Restaurant Griffin: Seinfeld Family Guy 2 - 1
Paisano's Griffin: Seinfeld Seinfeld 3 - 2
Pomodoro's both: Family Guy Seinfeld 3 - 2
Ye Old Pube both: Family Guy Family Guy 4 - 3
Reggie's Diner Griffin: Seinfeld Seinfeld 4 - 4
Cleveland's Deli Griffin: Family Guy Family Guy 4 - 5

Griffin wins! Mitch declares this was the most fixed game show of all-time.

Roast Spoonman[]

Milliondollarbabysquint

Million Dollar Baby by Clint Eastwood


Million Dollar Food Baby, Squint Feastgood

–Aubrey

Mitch's Scorsese Poem[]

Travis Bickle ate a pickle while out in New York City

Rupert Pupkin had a sad grin; the crowd found his jokes quite shitty
Billy Costigan got himself lost again while dodging crooks in Boston
Henry Hill, he had his fill, found mob life quite exhausting
Samuel Rothstein, he went unseen making deals with his Vegas crews
Willem Dafoe said 'no no no, don't crucify the king of the Jews"

–written and performed by Mike Mitchell

Quotes[]

I graduated cum laude from Monsters University.

–Mike Mitchell

Nick: The hot dog, as always, I ate it in my car. A home run. A big, meaty, girthy frank.

Griffin: Yea, it's a Wiger-sized hot dog. It really is something you'd struggle to fit in your mouth all at once.

–the Costco hot dog

I've had Kirkland Signature pants.

–Nick Wiger


#hashtags[]

  • #IfIt'sSeasonalIt'sReasonable

The Feedbag[]

I'm wondering if there are places you go to in the summer over other seasons, and vice versa? Do you have a seasonal rotation of fast food joints you hit up?

–Liz in Des Moines

Related Episodes[]

Friendly Green Grocer Month Costco episodes Griffin Newman episodes

Photos[]



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