"Coca-Cola Freestyle with Chris Gethard" is Episode 310 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Coca-Cola Freestyle with Chris Gethard" was released on July 22, 2021.
"Tomorrow… with Chris Gethard" - @doughsboyspod
Synopsis[]
Chris Gethard (Beautiful Anonymous, The Chris Gethard Show) joins the 'boys to talk New Jersey eats and all things soda before a breakdown of the Coca-Cola Freestyle machine. Plus, a special edition of Slop Quiz.
Nick's intro[]
Dean Kamen
"Well-known technology leaders who have seen it claim the invention is more significant than the internet or the PC."
This is from a January 2001 piece about a mysterious device, then called "IT" or "I.T.", created by Dean Kamen, a virtuosic inventor whose previous patents include the automated insulin pump. With tech impresarios Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos serving as investors and advocates, IT was pitched as "poised to transform the world" with cities redesigned around it and Kamen on track to become the wealthiest man on Earth.
Today, it's difficult to convey exactly how much hype surrounded IT, and just how deflated the public was by the ultimate reveal.
IT, or I.T., was in fact the "individual transport," a motorized scooter marketed to the public as the Segway. Far from its revolutionary promise, the Segway ended up as a mildly successful novelty mostly used by dorkwad tourists, famously a visual punchline as the chariot of Paul Blart, mall cop.
But though the Segway never lived up to the impossible hype of IT, inventor Kamen continued to conceive new devices, including a water purifier targeted at the developing world named Slingshot. A pre-built box with the ability to filter clean water for up to 300 people per day while using "less electricity than a hair dryer," the ambitious device needed the know-how of a global partner to reach populations in need. And so Kamen approached the largest beverage distributor in the world, Coca-Cola.
The makers of Coke and countless other beverages were intrigued, but, being asshole capitalists, weren't about to just help people for nothing. So in exchange for building and distributing his next-gen water filter, Coca-Cola enlisted Kamen in the creation of their smart soda fountain featuring a touch screen and dozens of options.
First released in 2009 and becoming a movie-theater lobby staple, the Coke/Kamen deal-with-the-devil proved a lasting hit with children and child-like adults enamored by the seemingly endless liquid-sugar combinations. (In fact, 127, according to Serious Eats.)
Today, with machines in sixteen countries, a new version released in 2019, and a Pepsi-branded clone gaining steam, the sleek cherry-red smart fountain seems here to say.
As for the machine once called IT? Usurped by new generation of smaller, app-powered rental scooters, in June of last year, the Segway ended production for good.
This week on Doughboys, Coca-Cola Freestyle.
Fork rating[]
Coca-Cola Freestyle
Instead of a restaurant, this episode is focused entirely on the Coca-Cola Freestyle Machine.
Mitch went to the CityWalk AMC movie theater (where he saw Black Widow) (and had popcorn); Nick went to a Burger King and also had some fries.
Like they do with the restaurants, they also rate it out of 5 forks (you can eat a soda with a fork).
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
3 forks |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
2.5 forks |
| Chris Gethard |
|
2.5 forks |
Slop Quiz: Ooh-I'm-Full Anonymous edition[]
In Slop Quiz, Nick presents a food-related exam (pop quiz) and Mitch and the guest compete for superiority.
The theme for this episode was various celebrity quotes about food.
Nick presents a food-related quote from a celebrity, and Mitch and Chris try to guess which celebrity said it.
| clue | Mitch's guess | Chris's guess | correct | score (MM - CG) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
country singer:
|
- | Dolly Parton | Dolly Parton | 0 - 1 |
famously rotund cinema legend:
|
Orson Welles | 0 - 1 | ||
fantasy author:
|
J.R.R. Tolkein | 0 - 1 | ||
cooking show host:
|
Julia Child | 0 - 1 | ||
cartoonist:
|
Charles Schultz | 0 - 1 | ||
classical composer:
|
Ludwig van Beethoven | Ludwig van Beethoven | 1 - 1 | |
cartoonist:
|
Jim Davis | 1 - 1 |
Roast Spoonman[]
| “ | A Sniper's Dream | ” |
–Harry from Salisbury, England | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | Mitch: Oh God, I'm gonna sneeze. I'm gonna sneeze, Wiges. *sneezes* How has that never happened? In all the time we've recorded Doughboys, I've never been so afraid that a sneeze was coming on. Chris: You sounded so scared. |
” |
–Mike Mitchell, sneezing | ||
| “ | And God damn am I psyched to be standing next to two other titans of truth-telling right now! | ” |
–Chris Gethard re: Mitch not liking La Croix | ||
| “ | Dr. Pepper himself is one of the doctors that Trump hired during COVID. He was like 'it's not that big of a deal, you don't have to wear masks.' | ” |
–Mike Mitchell | ||
The Feedbag[]
| Now that the pandemic finally seems to be coming to an end and movie theaters are starting to open, I was just wondering what your ideal seats were in a movie theater? And your least favorite seats? (-Evan from RI) | ||
|---|---|---|
| guest / host | favorite seats | least favorite seats |
| Nick Wiger | front of the back section, aisle | front row |
| Mike Mitchell | last row, middle
third row |
front row |
| Chris Gethard | a few rows in front of middle row, center | front row |
Related Episodes[]
| Wonderful World episodes |
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Photos[]
