"Carl's Jr./Hardee's 3 with Alana Johnston 🔪" is Episode 137 of Doughboys, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Carl's Jr./Hardee's 3 with Alana Johnston 🔪" was released on January 17, 2018.
"Tomorrow... we’re doing Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s again. But with a guest who just may cut it down to size...." - @doughboyspod
Synopsis[]
Canadian actress/comedian and the self-anointed "Knife" Alana Johnston 🔪 (The Birthday Boys, UCB) reviews her first dining experience at Mitch and Wiger's beloved Carl's Jr./Hardee's. The trio try out some murderously spicy jerky in another edition of Hot or Not.
Nick's intro[]
If you're going to credit one person, the modern chain restaurant owes its existence chiefly to Ray Kroc, the hustling traveling salesman who entered into an uneasy partnership with the McDonald brothers to take their hamburger-stand concept nationwide.
Conrad Hilton
And Kroc's closest analogue in the hospitality sector is a man whose more sonorous name became his brand: Conrad Hilton, a New Mexico native who, after serving in World War I, became a state legislator for the Land of Enchantment before turning to the private sector with dreams of owning a bank. When that fell through, Hilton launched a fallback plan that would become his life's work, purchasing the Mobley Hotel in Cisco, Texas. After success with that location over the course of 1920s, Hilton opened eponymous inns across the Lone Star State, and while the Great Depression nearly destroyed his fledgling business, he came out on the other side with eight hotels and a coastal expansion plan. As his chain went nation and worldwide, Hilton himself turned into a symbol of wealth and glamour, marrying actress Zsa Zsa Gabor as the middle of his three wives and becoming famed for his philanthropy. Today, Hilton's business legacy includes nearly 600 hotels in 85 countries.
But the other part of his legacy is less estimable: his heirs, a murderer's row of towheaded failed sons and daughters who serve as poster children for drastically raising the estate tax. In a particular twist of the knife, Conrad Hilton's namesake, his great-grandson Conrad, who looks like a fraternity pledge killed in a hazing incident, is perhaps worst of all, having been arrested countless times at just the age of 24 for grand theft auto, drunk driving, drug possession, violating parole and restraining orders, and for repeatedly screaming at a crew on an international flight "I am going to fucking kill you!"
Hilton's most famous heir is of course his granddaughter, Paris, who starred in one of the first breakout celebrity sex tapes, which ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon leaked without her consent, and whose "fish out of water" reality series The Simple Life introduced the world to her catchphrase, "That's hot!" While personal friends have claimed the empty-headed heiress act is a put-on, and there's a widely circulated story about her hobby of collecting and repairing vintage radios, in 2005, she was eager to trade on her image to act as a cheesecake model for a cheeseburger chain in a famous commercial where she washed a Bentley in a bikini while eating a sloppy sandwich called the Rodeo Burger. The spot, while a huge success, was maybe the most extreme example of the fast-food franchise's sexist marketing, which made the chain's founder remark that he was "just heartbroken" that a company he'd founded on Christian principles has taken such an amoral act.
Today, just as the Hilton Hotel chain is known for its luxury, this burger chain that employed the elder Conrad's granddaughter as a swimsuit-clad spokeswoman is known for perhaps being the most over-the-top brand in fast food.
This week on Doughboys, we return once again to Carl's Jr./Hardee's.
Fork rating[]
Carl's/Hardee's had been previously reviewed on Doughboys twice. In episode 9, Nick gave it 4 forks and Mitch gave it 5, and it was placed in the Golden Plate Club. This status was immediately revoked, however, because the CEO of Carl's Jr. was politically shady.
Then when that CEO finally resigned, they re-reviewed it in episode 103, with both Nick and Mitch giving it 4 stars, so Carl's Jr. finally was placed officially in the Golden Plate Club.
| guest / host | ordered | rating |
|---|---|---|
| Nick Wiger |
|
4 forks |
| Mike Mitchell |
|
3.9 forks / 1.1 knives |
| Alana Johnston 🔪 |
|
1 fork / 4 knives / 1 spoon |
This third review closes the door on Carl's Jr./Hardee's, and it is no longer in the Golden Plate Club.
Hot or Not 🔥[]
The Black Dalia Murder Beef Jerky
In Hot or Not, The Doughboys have a spicy snack and rate its hotness.
For this episode, they try The Black Dahlia Murder As Good As Dead Extra Hot Beef Jerky.
The rating scale is Hot Hot Hot, Hot Hot, Hot, Not, Not Not, Not Not Not.
| guest / host | rating |
|---|---|
| Nick Wiger | Hot Hot Hc |
| Mike Mitchell | Hot Hot Hc |
| Alana Johnston🔪 | Hot Hot Hot |
Roast Spoonman[]
Rocky Balboa
| “ | Stocky Balboa | ” |
–@michaelrembold | ||
Quotes[]
| “ | Nick: I had a choking incident at a Togo's. Mitch: Hm. Were you in the bathroom? |
” |
–Mitch got 'im | ||
| “ | I didn't know what to do. I took a swig of cologne, to cover up the alcohol. I gargled it and spit it out. I went downstairs and my Mum was like "Did you drink cologne?" | ” |
–young Mitch trying to not get caught drunk | ||
| “ | When I got here, Mitch had the fries on ice. | ” |
–Alana Johnston 🔪 | ||
| “ | Mitch is one of the moister men I know. | ” |
–Alana Johnston 🔪 | ||
| “ | Nick: We had something so hot... Mitch: A salad? |
” |
–Mitch got 'im again | ||
#hashtags[]
- #DeathDefyingDinner
- #BeggingForBBQ
- #OverSauced
- #HoosierBoysAndGals or #HowYouCreamin
- #WhatAreYouTalkingAbout
- #BackOffMitch
The Feedbag[]
| “ | I drive throughout the greater Philadelphia region. I've noticed that Hardee's has released a $5 All-Star meal in direct competition with the KFC $5 Fill-Up. Have you noticed any similar competing meal deals?
Do you ever miss the cold and snow of the North and East? |
” |
–Mike from Westchester, PA | ||
Related Episodes[]
| Carl's Jr./Hardee's episodes | Alana Johnston 🔪 episodes |
|---|---|
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Photos[]
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